Main players

Since I have rehomed myself, I should reintroduce the cast of characters.

This is me. Mouse.

Not good enough? You mean I am supposed to show my face?

Fine. Is this better?


I am 29 now, and married to the Baron who is 30 (although acts more like he is 7):

We have no children, although it really isn't through lack of trying. We DO have a deranged 8 year old nephew, the Boy, who spends every other weekend with us (as well as every single Friday night) because according to him, we are more fun than Mum or Dad:

We live in a nice small village in the South of England. With us live the Monsters - six evil cats and two very deranged dogs.

There were three goldfish in the menagerie but they were relocated to the village pond.

I haven't seen them since, the little ingrates.

This is Frankie, the stupidest cat in the West. It is amazing he is still alive.

Smellie Ellie. Sweet, but certifiable.

This is Charlie. Don't be fooled by that sweet slumber. His other name is Agent Orange for a reason.

Eye eye! It's One Eyed Willy! She still likes to rub the empty socket on a willing nose. There just aren't all that many around.

This is Holly. Holly is a stroppy cat. See how she won't even look at me. She was sulking because I took a picture instead of stroked her.

This is Ozzie. He beat Charlie to the title of He Who Eats Enough To Power A Small Nuclear Power Station.

This is Darth Lila. Her nickname suits her. If she likes you, she pisses in your general direction. If she doesn't like you, she grumbles and pisses in your general direction.

This is Zach Attack! Note the resemblance to the above black cat? He has. He isn't sure whether he is a cat or a dog, but if it moves, he will hump it just to be sure.