One

...
So nearly there. I've reached zen like calm, although the bottle of wine I just shared with my Maid of Honour may have something to do with that.

Lila bit me getting into the car on the way to kennels (I caught her bladder, which is hurting her since her cystitis recurred) and I am deaf in my left ear with an ear infection.

But my nails are done( seriously, should they actually hurt?) and we are all set.

Counting down the hours...

Two

My hair is done. The Boy's hair is done (an ordeal to be told another time).

Lila and her cystitis are off to kennels tomorrow morning. Then I will clean the house, get my nails done, decorate the Church and then start counting down in earnest.

Toodles.

Three

I'm on leave now.

Getting close!

Four days

I've turned to drink today. My first though was the Dark Side, but one Dark Lord in the household is enough.

Darth Lila has taken to grabbing my foot when I am sat in the swivel chair and dragging me round in circles.

So alcohol it is.

Five? FIVE days!

I may kill someone soon.

One long week

I had my hen night last night.

It was fun. It was a nice and small affair, and we had a good few drinks, some nice food and some extremely bizarre (and filthy) conversations. Just what I wanted, but I can't believe that it is only a week tomorrow. One week tomorrow.

As befitting a hen night, the number of sexual partners came around in conversation. I know that I am both unusual and very lucky to have only ever been with the Baron. I was a relatively late bloomer, and he was my one and only boyfriend. It might be sweet, but it doesn't make for a thrilling hen night conversation! Still, since two of my friends have had over forty partners each, they took up the slack for me. Seriously, I just can't get my head around that.

Thankfully, no-one turned up with a vibrator, veil, L plates or any other nasty hen night crap. I would have smacked them!

The road between the church and the reception hall has been closed, and will not reopen until after the wedding. So the carefully drawn maps have had to be redrawn and resent out to show the new diversion that is in place. Hopefully that is the only thing that will go wrong!

One of our invited guests died last night, She was 98 and had suffered a series of strokes, so this wasn't totally unexpected, but I am sad that she won't be with us. She was like my third grandmother.

My hair is still black, but I absolutely love it. As does the Baron, my mother, and my friends. I'm going to leave it. I've enjoyed being a goth again!

Darth Lila has cystitis. She is so miserable and she can't stop pissing on the floor. She is still in her lightshade as her wet dermatatis hasn't cleared up yet. She has a medical regime that would rival the average old age pensioner, but hopefully, she will be well again very soon.

Despite all this, I am very happy at the moment. I am so excited about next week!

Breathe

Breathe.

33 days to go and counting.

Damnably hard ribs

Alexander of Russia didn't understand corsets. He believed that women just happened to have rather sturdy ribs under their skin.

My ribs are bruised, as opposed to sturdy. I've just got back from a wedding dress fitting. I've been trussed up into a corset, squeezed into a train and wrapped up in a stole. The dress needs shortening (since I am a short arse) and the beads need some repair, but otherwise it is a pretty perfect fit. The train needs an extra inch on the waist since I do not possess a waist comparable to that of a Barbie doll.

I plan on losing another few pounds to make sure I have a smoother fitting skirt, although my "suck everything in and pull it all up" big knickers should take care of that.

I go back in four weeks to have my final fitting. Only seven and a half weeks to go.

One good thing

On a personal level, one good thing has come out of yesterday.

When I was 11, I studied German at school. My teacher was married to a German woman and had just moved to England from Bad Homburg (near Frankfurt am Main). He offered to put us in contact with his former pupils to help us.

I was assigned Julia. We took to each other immediately, despite the fact my German and her English were diabolical.

We wrote to each other for years. We visited each other every summer. We spoke on the phone every couple of weeks, and then started to e-mail each other as well.

But when we both left school, we lost touch a little. We still spoke, but not as often. We've e-mailed each other a few times, but my German has grown very rusty and Julia has moved across the country several times (and has indeed left it on several occasions).

I haven't spoken to Julia since New Years Eve.

But Julia called this evening to check that we were safe. It was great to speak to her again, and the best news of all is that she and her partner (who I last met in 2001) will now be attending our wedding, along with her parents, who created a second home for me in Germany.

I am so happy this evening.

Busy Day

I have bought my dress.

It is a two piece ivory satin dress, with glass beading on the bodice. It has a corset back, and has a lovely train. I also got a faux fur wrap to wear around my shoulders.

I felt so beautiful in that dress that despite the outrageous price tag, I bought it. I just couldn't stop grinning in it.

I'm not telling the Baron that I have a dress - I want to surprise him. He will be.

(in other news, I got pulled over on the motorway and cautioned for outrageous speeding. Amazingly I was let off - at the speed I was going I could have easily lost my licence).

Gobsmack overload

Not only are my parents paying for the wedding, they are sending us on our honeymoon.

Anywhere we want in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD!

Thank you to my fantabulous parents!!!!!

The details

There isn't really too much to tell.

The Baron had just come inside from having a quick fag outside, and I reminded him that we needed to keep a date free next year as my cousin is getting married.

I planned to ask him what he thought about us getting married, but he beat me to the punch.
He said "Shall we.....?"

I said "OK. How does October 27th sound?"

He said "OK." And then Lila jumped up and whacked him in the bollocks.

So romantic.

So the plan is thus:

We would like to marry on the 27th October. However, that is a Thursday. Whilst there are advantages to getting married in the week, the cost benefits do not outweigh the fact that many people (ourselves included) would need to take time off of work. So we have decided to get married on Saturday 29th October.

We are hoping to get married in the village church

The reception? We have no idea.

We want a buffet reception and we would like to have a bar. But the vast majority of places here do not hire out rooms without the catering, and the prices are just stupid. One option is the village pub, but that will not be as cheap as we would like since I would not be doing the catering. But we are still looking around.

The other possibility is a formal tea type reception at my parents house. Their house is certainly large enough, and they have a beautiful conservatory and garden. It isn't quite how I pictured my reception though.....

So I am stumped.

We aren't after formal dress. I might wear a dress, but I don't expect all the blokes to turn up in morning suits. My sister is the maid of honour, and the Boy is my Zombie Henchman.........and he wants to make a speech!

The Baron will be attended by his brother as best man (simply because he was the best man for him last year) and his best friend as the real help.

I will be driven to the church by my mother. She has a lovely BMW so it is hardly a sacrifice on my part! The Baron will go with his best friend.

We are doing the invitations ourselves on the computer, as well as any other items such as orders of service etc.

I want to grow my own bouquet. I don't want too many flowers as I don't want to sneeze through the whole service. I plan on having candles instead.

I am making the cake. My first thought was to make the infamous litter tray cake, but that would only appeal to me and the small children at the wedding. However, I do bake really well so this isn't a problem.

We are having white gold rings. Just simple plain bands. I wasn't going to have an engagement ring, but then I changed my mind. Years ago the Baron gave me an engagement ring but I don't wear it as most of jewellery is silver and it is gold. But........my uncle is a diamond setter, and is able to melt down the old ring and reset the stones in a white gold ring of my design. I asked the Baron if he minded, and he was really pleased that I could do that.

Photo's? I don't know. I imagine we will hire someone for an hour and get them done properly. I would hate to have no good photo's.

So that is how things stand. Have I forgotten anything?

Der der der!

I'm getting married!