Bitch fest

I am in a pissed off mood this evening. I am not in the mood to be fucked around, so I am hiding up here in the spare room silently seething and thinking bad thoughts.

1. Lila has regressed back to going on the floor whenever she feels like it. My house smells of dog shit. I have just cleaned up the largest pile of crap I have ever seen in my life and that includes the steaming pile of shit in the elephant enclosure at London Zoo I saw on the Boys second birthday.

She has been ill (swallowed a fuck off great big stone), so I accept this should just be a set back. But it is pissing me off. She wasn't completely there with toilet training, but almost. She is better now (threw the stone up along with the other crap in her stomach all over the leather sofa), and I have no idea why she won't hold it. We will try a shit load of walks this weekend to try and catch all her needs and hopefully she will get back in the swing of things.

2. My washer drier broke down. It doesn't dry properly, it makes an odd noise and it only works on one cycle.

The engineer came out today to look at it. He pulled out the mother of all furballs and said that would fix everything. OK, it was a lot of hair, but that doesn't explain the actual issues with the machine. So he replaced the pump and said it was fixed.

Guess what? I put the fucker on three hours ago and it still is just sat there doing bugger all. Fixed my fucking arse.

I take it back. At nearly four hours in, it has just started to fill with water.

3. Hayfever. 'Nuff said.

4. I've been coerced into changing teams at work - temporary basis, four months. I am supposed to start with my new team on Monday, and I have only just this evening received the details of which clients I will take on. They have put me down for six months. Not four. And I don't even want to do four.

No-one is covering my work, so I still have to catch up with that when I finally transfer back (the expectation is I will do some alongside the additional work). I am NOT happy with this one little bit. I leave behind a really great manager, who I get along with very well, and have to work with one who by all accounts is scatterbrained, disorganised and shifts the blame to everyone but himself.

5. I can hear Lila chewing the skirting board.

6. The washer drier stopped again. It has been silent for a while. Since it only just began washing I doubt very much if it has completed the cycle. It has now had three call outs in the seven months I have had it. Expensive piece of shit.

7. Holly has pissed all over my spare bed. The spare room smells of cat piss, but this is at least in keeping with the smell theme of the house - animal waste.

She isn't ill (although her furry little self is going in for a full check up anyway) but has developed a penchant for pissing in the cat beds as opposed to the litter tray. It started around the time Lila got bigger than the cats.

I'm going to get some more Feliway diffusers for the other rooms. Her previous owner tells me she prefers an enclosed litter tray. She doesn't now as she is scared of a rottweiler ambush. She may have a point - Charlie was minding his own business, reading the paper and getting on with things when Lila came along. She started to lick his head. This scared the crap out of Charlie (which certainly speeded things up) and he ran away.

Lila isn't supposed to be upstairs (which is where the cats live), but I don't always remember to shut the babygate, and she escapes. If I do remember to shut it, Lila likes to knock it off the wall with her big fat head so she can follow me around. Rotties are people dogs ;.)

8. Washing machine has now started again, and then stopped. At four hours and ten minutes in.

I feel better now. I might be ready to re-enter society shortly. I'm going to hang on - I can smell another shit and I can't face cleaning anymore up.